Relationships in the Teenage World


Our first romantic relationship is something we think about when we're young, when we're little girls, and even though our parents would say that relationships start at 35. They say this because they know with all their hearts that we're precious and delicate and don’t want to see us get hurt. They're not wrong, as we are born this way, precious and delicate, however I've never known someone to be more trusting than when they were a child.

For me it’s because I trusted in the love that I felt.

Today as a teenager we witness the distrust in our peer groups and the fear of being vulnerable within them. Many adolescents are like water when it comes to relationships, they re-shape and change direction often, especially when it comes to their intentions and commitments.

In my experience, young people who feel they are being used in their relationship often then become the user themselves and this can continue to be a volatile cycle. At one time, it could be said that you ‘fall in love’, or ‘fall head over heels’, feeling that rush of excitement with someone you now ‘love’. However, what I’ve noticed is that teenagers are either head over heels crazy for someone or unquestionably terrified of being seen for who they are, or worse yet, of not being accepted as they are. Many of the girls I speak with are afraid of being alone.

We learn that conditions are a part of contracts and agreements in the business world. Today, a relationship is similar to a contract in that the other party wants their needs to be met, and if a condition is not met, the individual will consider pulling out from the ‘agreement’. Without the proper foundations, I can imagine that girls will abandon what they feel to be right for themselves to make someone they care about happy.

Girls have grown up to feel that they are not an equal and that the other person is more important – this is the largest misconception that’s been allowed to thrive in schools and throughout the mindsets of young girls.

The first foundation in any relationship is the respect you hold for yourself and one another. When a partner doesn't return that level of care in the relationship, somehow girls will immediately go to thinking that they've done something ‘wrong’, it’s their fault, or they somehow deserve it and more often than not will blame themselves. Furthermore, it is likely that there is little communication between them and their partner, so even if something is wrong rarely will they talk about it.

So, what’s important here?

Is it to please others?